You can’t make this stuff up

I sent a true account of a shoot I produced for Microsoft to Resource Magazine for their “Industry Tales” section. Resource is a photography production magazine and industry tales is written in a fictional short story format.  The Winter issue has “my” tale and I was happy that they left in a lot of the events of that day.  What a day it was, make up artist is a no show, we got stuck at a toll booth, we (2 asssitants, back up makeup artist & Creative Director) were an hour late to the location.  Assistants go A.W.O.L to enjoy coffee and cigarettes, photographer doing scary things with a cherry picker boom arm that he is standing in, 75% chance of rain, shooting at a very nice house with a lot of the home owner’s property on the front lawn, male child model out of control, First Assistant starting a fight with me, it rained (I hired professional movers with plastic & blankets) oh and the pug that played the “family dog” puked on the lounge chair she was sitting on when things were going well in between rain drops.  I have a friend who teaches at F.I.T. and on the rare occasion I am a guest speaker, I bring that tear sheet and explain what I do for a living.  I get a lot of laughs (I’d like to think I have a flair for comedy).

So much can happen on a photo shoot, good, bad & ugly.  There was the time a 135lb. photo assistant was made airborne by a big gust of wind and a 12ft. scrim (he almost ended up in the ocean) and the time an Octabank burst into flames.  I fell head over heels over a seat at Yankee Stadium and landed in a puddle of stale beer and urine (I was banged up, but the camera I was holding was A-OK). Waiting in a motor home in Central Park for a model who never showed up, photographer being hospitalized in the middle of a 4 day trip…

I hear some crazy stories from Photographers and assistants, many have made my jaw drop, most of them would make a great subject for a TV “dramedy” and people who are not in our business would never believe it was based on “true events”.

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